OK, I’ve begun my doctoral journey. One of the first assignments, to help us learners acclimate to the new environment (all online), — visualize the day that I will receive my degree. So far, this is what I have:
At this point, visualizing the day I receive my degree and my family being present at the commencement is the only thing that is keeping me from calling my enrollment counselor and dropping from the program. Hearing my name and stepping across to meet my mentor face-to-face and the dean must be kept ever present in my mind today, the first day of opening EDD#### Unit 1 workload, in order for me to not go running from my office in sheer panic as I look over all the assignments and try to piece together where and what I should be doing. Walking to where the president of the university will hand me my diploma seems like an insurmountable obstacle and at this point I doubt I will get to a commencement let alone turn my face to my fellow graduates and their families. I’m whipped already.
What causes me such panic? The first two assignments: “Reflecting on the Doctor of Education Program” and “Professional Standards”. The resources offered to assist me in completing the assignments seem ill fitted for my skills and/or needs. I’m an elementary teacher, the K-12 Student Services Coordinator, and an online instructor teaching professional development courses. I do not see where I will fit into the scheme of educational leadership and management. I do not see myself as a policy maker or a high-powered executive at a college or university. I see myself as helping other educators improve student academic achievement whether it is at the college level or at the elementary level. I may have chosen the wrong degree program.